I was chatting with my brother the other day and telling him how one of the toughest parts of freelancing is that it’s so easy to do nothing.
I don’t mean the “sit at the wall in clinical depression” type of nothing, but the “watch eight episodes of your favorite new show while ordering food on your favorite app” nothing.
With a trivial gym break in the middle of course.
How to stop being Average?
So how do you stop being so mediocre and live up to your full potential?
- You recognize that you can learn any skill in the world that used to take thousands of dollars…for the price of a burger.
- Then you learn to siphon your time. Netflix and torrents might be free but they’re costing you a lot more than you think.
Most adults learn this only once they have kids and life forces them to value their time. If you learn this in your twenties you’ve pretty much won.
I’ll explain what I mean now for the rest of this post.
We’re all Average at Something
The real issue is that most of us assume a six-figure salary and a house are the end goal. But in reality, most guys and girls who attain this by 30-35 realize it wasn’t so difficult at all with stock options, corporate benefits, working from home, frequent flier points and who knows what else.
That’s when your internal appraisal machine really freaks out…because society gave you above average results for your very average performance.
How much did all that work you did at Deloitte really impact you OR that company David?
I’m an Artist and I’m Also Mediocre
Depending on where you live (I’m currently living in India although writing this in LA) a lot of professions allow you to make enough money to be good but complacent enough to skip the great.
And that’s a big problem.
Whether you’re in the corporate hustle, the creative space or a small business owner in some hybrid of the two, you are always going to be fighting self-inflicted mediocrity.
- When you’re making six figures but web surf 4 hours a day, you’re doing it.
- When you’re earning your rent in a single night by being a musician/artist/comedian/video maker and then getting stoned for the next three days, you’re doing it.
- And when you’re simply wondering at 35 how did I get all these things and still find myself a bit uneasy or unhappy…you’ve done it.
The obvious reason is income (e.g. If you’re not starving you won’t stretch yourself) and the obvious answer that you’ve read a 1000 times is to find your passion and do what you love.
But I’m letting you know that I do what I love and sometimes…I’m still a lazy piece of shit.
So my real question is what (or who) enables your mediocrity?
You probably dabble with thoughts of:
- hating your life,
- or your boss,
- or not knowing what to do with yourself.
But in reality, you may just be on a long drive with the gas pedal only pressed halfway down.
Or in simpler words:
Why do you continue to do just enough when you know deep in your heart of hearts that you are capable of doing so much more?
Again...who or what enables your mediocrity?
Ok, I’ll go first.
And I don’t mean this in a mean way at all because I cherish her with all my heart…but for me it’s my mom.
My mother saw me working in high school/college and then the 80 hour weeks to pay off my student loans, and then sort of just observed as I matured through my professional milestones and always acted busier than I was. (Side Note: Make it a point to entertain your parents for 5 minutes a day on the phone, Facebook isn’t gonna go anywhere and you can always check it while they’re on speaker).
In her eyes, I need to relax a bit more, not get so stressed out and if I miss my 8 AM alarm…I deserved the sleep and my body needs time to recover (From you know, all that drinking and slogging I was doing at the open-mic).
She’s the same type of lady who would call me “healthy” instead of fat when I really need my friends to kick my ass into high-gear.
I’m the quintessential Indian mama’s boy, and I can smile about it now because I’m fully aware of it and take steps to mitigate it. Am I going to stop talking to my mom? Of course not. But recognizing her well-intentioned attitude towards me and the fact that I’m growing up in a different time albeit with many similarities, allows me to stay focused and stay hungry without compromising our relationship and without letting me get fully dependent on her to do things I can easily do for myself.
She doesn’t want me to be mediocre, but doesn’t fully understand this is the age to hustle and “I gotta do me, baby”.
So who or what enables you to be mediocre?
Is it the job that allows you to coast while keeping your lifestyle as comfy as you want it?
Because the charm fading away from this will one day hit you like a ton of bricks. All the miles, hotel points, and cash/perks/houses aren’t going to motivate you any better when you’re still staring at your screen with no purpose or motivation.
Or is it your friends who are obsessed with girls and travel and could care less about what you do as long as the tinder matches still come in? I’m talking to you twenty-year-old dudes who grew up with Ted and Barney (or 30-year-old dudes with Chandler and Joey).
Or is it something as simple as alcohol and drugs?
Maybe it’s a partner you spend more time arguing with instead of having as an actual “partner” who helps you complement each other to be better people.
And most importantly, it’s obviously a huge chunk of you.
Just to be clear, there is nothing wrong with the house on the hill, the two kids, the cars and the whole deal.
But have you noticed how most of the typical case studies on success….Zuckerberg, Musk, Gates, Bezos… all did amazing things well beyond the years they had no financial incentive to?
Or in simpler words, they were rich as hell before really impacting upon their life’s work (and more importantly, some had families before the real grind began).
They could have bought the private island or huge apartment in New York, partied with celebrities and danced/laughed/screwed their way into obscurity.
But they didn’t do that.
In fact, Elon Musk once said the idea of sitting on some beach “sounds horrible.” And eventually, after 1000 Instagram selfies and packaged holiday after packaged holiday, you’ll start to agree.
There is nothing wrong with being average, but there is something wrong in treating yourself averagely.Sanjay-San from Kyoto
I don’t have the answers on how to stop being mediocre or on how to accomplish greatness. But I do know that 99% of us, (a stat I just pulled out of my ass) know that we can so easily do much, much more.
When you finish college the real challenge begins, but everybody acts like the hard part is over.
In school, you had that friend who you always wanted to do better than but rarely did.
You had the coach who pushed you to run another mile when you thought “OMG I’ve never run more than 3 miles ever.”
Somewhere along the way…you stopped doing all of that.
Sanjay Manaktala is one of the top stand up comedians in India who started building the comedy community in the country back in 2010. Since then his stand up comedy videos and podcasts have helped millions laugh or get motivated. His latest effort is the Birdy Num Num podcast, helping you learn creativity in life after engineering. You can learn about Sanjay here or check out his YouTube channel here.
You are just brilliant man!! That is some real deep content explained in such a lucid manner that I think everyone can understand/relate to it. It takes some real talent to express like that:).
Not giving your best is not wrong at all but that doesn’t make it right as well. There is truly a difference between the two 🙂
thanks for the kind words and feedback 🙂 Glad it’s hitting chord!
I needed this! Thankyou
you’re very welcome 🙂
I myself have stopped striving to be always safe and not to disappoint anyone(family). When i was a kid i used to cry, when i did not score better than my peers. I got this thing into my mind that playing as a mediocre is always comfortably safe.
You are turning out #JamesAltucher of India.
Awesome write up…The IT is because of mediocre ppl
It’s amazing how profound this is while keeping it as light as only you can keep. Thank you.
Thanks, I try never to get way too serious. 🙂 🙂
This is something which made me get out of the IT rat race and give time to be mediocre without the greatness hype tag.
Wow Sanjay, the profundity in doing beyond the mediocre couldn’t be put in simpler words. You inspire with your words. I really needed this!
Everything is just so on point .what one needs to hear at any stage of their life .I am 24 and already started struggling with this to do something great issue. But this has turned up to be so much helpful. Thankyou so much .
Hey you’re very welcome I’m glad it made an impact. It will continue to happen but be aware and you’ll be fine 🙂