As a groom and a stand-up comedian, what a whirlwind weekend having a big fat Indian wedding can be. I’ve wanted to write about it for a while but didn’t know what to say. They’re plenty of tips and tricks articles on the internet about Indian weddings but I wanted to take a fresh approach on what makes it truly a good experience as a bride a groom in your Indian wedding.
There’s a joke I remember during our Indian wedding planning experience I kept cracking.
My wife never laughed but I still like it.
“Oh you thought this wedding was about US? no no no, it’s for everybody else.”Intelligent Uncle.
But I love that.
And to enjoy an Indian wedding, you need to focus on everybody else, but also internally…you need to EXPERIENCE your wedding.
As Daniel Kahnmen in the NYT Bestseller Thinking Fast and Slow says…you have two selves.
The experiencing self and the remembering self.
A movie that’s 99.9% amazing with a crap ending lets the remembering self ruin the experiencing self because all you’ll remember is that the ending sucked. The memory is all you got and you don’t care that you were on the edge of your seat and laughing/focused for two hours. You just care that you’ll remember the entire experience based on the ending…it sucked.
Using that to recall my own Indian wedding…although we had our own minor hiccups (every wedding does)…I remember that luckily I planned to slot in some free time…and that made all the difference.
All the planning, all the expenses (where’s that cry emoji when you need it), all the family fun, love, drama (Indian no wedding is complete without it) came and by in a flash.
But in those moments, I made it a point to chat with friends I hadn’t seen, family I was getting to know, dance to music we were paying a bomb for, sneak a bite at someone’s table, take a drag, umm swig of that drink…and just find time to just sit in the corner and take it all in.
I had a few heart to hearts, cried a good chunk and just realized how lucky I was to be able to experience this experience.
Does that make sense?
We totally forgot to eat all that amazing food we ordered, and you probably will to by the way.
It’s 2019, both my wife and my family are “woke” and modern, but now that a few months have passed I realize more and more, that more than the fireworks, the alcohol and the food….I was just having a good time in the MOMENT.
So my advice to you is:
For the love of God…do whatever you have to do to prepare how to be PRESENT.
Meditate. Work out. Learn to let things go. Practice dancing and getting on stage at some local open mic or toastmaters for your speeches. Ignore that the hotel just charged you $600 for towels you ruined in the Mehendi.
It all doesn’t matter in the long run.
During the Hindu wedding ceremony (or whichever you do)…actually close your eyes and enjoy the priest’s chants and fire from the ceremony in front of you.
Breathe it in bro-bro.
You will constantly be pulled in various directions. Photographers and makeup people will take up all your newlywed’s time when you’re not at the events you’re paying for.
But you’re not there for your make-up artists Instagram page OR missing an hour of your reception because you need to take glamour shots outside by the moonlight (do that later).
What good is showing up and looking gorgeous in photos if all you remember when you see those photos is how the band stopped an hour after you entered, and you barely said more than “Hi/Hello” to anybody?
Everybody talks about the food, the customs, the pictures, the decoration. Once you have that all figured out, please come back here and read this again.
For wedding planning….why not PLAN…to ENJOY IT.
FULL ONE HOUR PODCAST ON INDIAN WEDDINGS WITH KARUNA REDDY from the MOGRA COLLECTIVE.